At that moment of blurred consciousness between sleep and wakefulness, those fleeting seconds of confusion, when your mental process is aware of the onset of a new day, my mood depended on what happened last night.

This led either to the paralyzing horror of the memories of how much I lost, or in rare cases, the blissful relief from the fact that I could somehow refrain from the game.

The feeling of shame and feeling of hopelessness

David dubbed the lucky "silent illness", because people are shamed their actions, realize their guilt, and therefore do not want others to know about it. He also talks about the hopelessness, which players feel, because they cannot cope with this disease independently, and can’t ask for help.

I was afraid that everything is over for me. I felt that there was no. On your worst days I felt that I could not cope with it. Her grip was too strong to get out of it ever. Lifetime without lattice. At such moments the darkest thoughts come. I can understand how people reach suicide. In the darkness of you, you do not see the exit.

Interference of loved ones

In 2017, I finally told my wife. She was shocked, but knew that something did not promise to help me.

She paid debts and in return I promised that I would stop playing. I went to my doctor, and he sent me to a practitioner consultant. Then I was sent to the clinic for the dependent, where I was given six free consultations.

I liked the consultation, and they incredibly helped overcome concern. For a while they helped stop playing. This period lasted six months from October 2017 to March 2018.

Still controlling your bank account, I spent again the maximum available overdraft.

Fucking, it all started again. If I felt stress or anxiety, I tried again to raise myself at the expense of gembling. But again, I just made my life even worse. Everything turned into a vicious, incessant cycle, which I could not break.

Useless blocking sites

At one point he turned on the lock through Gamstop, and experienced great relief, thinking that everything was over. But in the future he just began to register on those sites that were not blocked.

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As a result, after the wife was ready to leave, picking a child, he raised the last chance. Provided that if at least one bet will be made, it will be the end of the relationship. He had control over his finance. All his passwords were replaced, so he did not have access to money and even if desired, he could not replenish the bill. And his expensive to get rid of dependence, he called visiting the meetings Gamblers Anonymous. Where he learned to talk about his problem.

Dependencies do not need to be ashamed. Do not suffer alone, please give yourself a chance to recover, be a person you dream of becoming.

The moment I sank to the very bottom, was the worst and best in my life. I can never forget this pain and no longer let it.

Ludomania and suicide

Studies in the UK showed that from 4% to 11% of suicides are associated with gembling, which is 250-650 deaths per year. And the probability of committing suicide among LudoMans is 3-4 times higher than that of other dependent.

This statisticians support the words of one of the authors of the Gambling Insider, which in the past was the Site Gambling Support Service operator.

On one of the training sessions of my colleagues and I was asked to raise your hands if someone had to deal with the phone with a player configured to suicide. Approximately 60% people in the room raised hands.